Bronan the Barbarion

[Sand Guardian]

The kingdom of Tanelorn was a large one, ruled by the mighty king Marlon Brando. For ages the land was peaceful. Wars were never fought, so the land prospered. Farms dotted the outskirts of the village walls, livestock grazed on the outward plains, and the harvests were never short. Even within the halls of the castle was there happiness and merriment. The king hosted many grand feasts, and his princess, Pikachu, was in love with Chad. Chad was a muscular hero who never failed in his many adventures. He would always return with the head of an orc, or the scales of a dragon. He was the bravest warrior Tanelorn has ever had, so they knew there was nothing to fear.
One night, while the whole kingdom was heavily asleep, a group of men snuck into the castle and entered the quarters of Princess Pikachu. The princess really wasn’t good at anything, especially fighting. All she could do was scream. Chad heard her from his room and jolted awake. He grabbed his sword and ran into her room. Three men in dark robes climbed out of the window with the princess. Chad drew his sword, and pursued them. They ran fast, and leaped from the rooftops. Soon after, they disappeared from sight. Chad tried to follow their path, but once he stepped out of the village gates, his path was blocked by a very tall and very friendly skeleton.
“Where are you running off to, Silly Bones?” The skeleton asked, scratching the top of his head.
“Out of my way, Papyrusu. Someone kidnapped the princess, and I’m trying to track them down.” Chad demanded.
“Oh, you’re shaking me to the bone! I happen to know where the princess is, but the news might...put you in your grave! Nyeh heh heh!”
“Just tell me!”
“Are you sure you have the spine? Nyeh!”
“Yes, and enough with these damn puns!”
“Very well, Silly Bone, I’ll tell ya. My brother, Sansa, took her. He’s in the Forest of Bones.” Hearing this, Chad went on his way.
Chad entered the forest and eventually arrived at a castle. Fortunately, the princess was visible from the tower she was locked in. There weren’t many guards there. In fact, there were none at all. All there was was a pudgy skeleton. It was...Sansa!
“You’re about to have a bad time, Chad.” Sansa smiled. “GET DUNKED ON!!” But Chad just kicked Sansa out of his way and went into the tower. He entered the princess's chamber and escorted her safely out of the castle.
“Oh, Chad, you saved me! Now, isn’t there something you must ask me, the fair Princess Pikachu?”
“What question?”
“You’re supposed to ask for my hand in marriage!” The princess stomped her foot.
“I’m gay.” And with that, Chad walked away. Leaving her to find her own way hom